Creating Space in our Lives
Letting go has never been a strength of mine. Whether that is letting go of people, relationships, expectations or attachments. Even if none of these things are doing me any good or bringing any value to my life. I am often loyal to a fault and generally need to get to my breaking point before I can fully release what is no longer in my best interest. Translation: I end up doing things the hard way instead of listening to that quiet inner voice when it tells me that something isn’t quite right. It’s as if I need to have tangible proof of how bad something is for me before I can finally release it and move on.
Now that I am intimately aware of this pattern, I have started to notice when I see it happening. I believe that in most instances, in order to create space for things that are truly meant for us and better suited to us, we need to release the things in our lives that we no longer need or simply aren’t right anymore. These things take up space: in our hearts, our minds, our schedules, etc. Space that is valuable to keep open for things that are better for us at this current point in life. After years of self-growth work, I notice this happening more frequently. In relationships and dating, I can more easily see when someone isn’t the right fit for me. I take the time to evaluate before committing myself to organizations or activities to ensure that something aligns with my values and priorities for my life instead of automatically saying yes to things. I’ve discovered the joy and freedom that comes from changing my mind and doing what is right for me, even if I end up disappointing someone in the process.
Just because I notice these things more readily, unfortunately doesn’t mean that it is easy for me to let go of things that aren’t right for me. This tendency to hold on for dear life is most evident in my relationships. My sense of loyalty to someone seems to develop quickly, as I’m fairly empathic. I give my full effort to getting to know someone that I’m dating because I simply don’t know of any other way to do it that feels authentic to me. If I’m considering starting a relationship with someone, I’m not going to hold back or keep things surface level. I want to get to know someone on a deeper level. This means that even when I know that someone isn’t right for me, I tend to stick around longer than I should, just to make sure that I’m making the right decision. This doesn’t do anyone any favors. It does ensure that I end up being confident that I’m making the right choice, but I could save myself a lot of angst and overthinking by listening to my intuition earlier instead of looking for proof of what I already know.
As a result, I’m making an effort to stop trying to force things and instead let them be. To acknowledge my intuition when it quietly tells me what is right instead of trying to find the logic and rationale behind it. I’m much smarter and stronger than I give myself credit for. Learning to trust myself and that inner knowing has been a LONG process, since we seem to be conditioned from an early age to go against what our bodies signal and our intuition tells us are the right things for us. I’ve had to keep going back to the mountains of evidence I have from my life that I always know what is right for me. Whether I acknowledge it right away or not, I end up at the same place. I simply have the choice to heed that inner voice right away or torture myself by taking the long way to the same conclusion. Sometimes I need to take the long way to feel completely comfortable in letting something go, but more often than not, I could save myself a lot of anxiety and stress by surrendering to my inner knowing at the outset.
I want to make sure that I have the space in my life for the things that are meant for me, so this has become an important point of growth for me recently. It no longer feels necessary to hold onto anything or anyone that isn’t in alignment with where I want to go in life, the person I want to be and the relationships that I desire to have. Letting go is always scary at first, but the sooner I release the things that aren’t right for me, the sooner I can be open and available for the things that are meant for me.
