Member-only story
What Determines Relationship Readiness?
Is it different for men and women?
In dating, whenever I’ve said goodbye to someone, it’s usually been because someone isn’t a good fit for me, or they don’t share my values or don’t want the same things for their life and future as I do. It’s been because I didn’t feel like our connection was what I was looking for or they just didn’t feel right for me for some reason. I’ve never once told someone I don’t want to see them because I had things in my life that I needed to work on. I have heard from one man after another lately that they can’t see me anymore or don’t want to pursue dating me because they have things in their life that they want to work on. And for them, that equals not being ready for a relationship. It’s so hard for me to understand, and I have been hearing it a lot in the past few years of dating. Even when my most recent ex broke off our relationship, that was one of the reasons he stated for doing so. He had things in his life that he needed to fix or change and felt like he couldn’t do that and also be in a relationship. These are also men who have pursued me to date. I haven’t been twisting their arm to go out with me. So, why are they choosing to pursue someone if they aren’t really wanting to be in a relationship in the first place?
To me, having a supportive relationship means that you have the freedom to grow and also someone…
